I know, I've been missing. It’s taken me awhile to find my way back.

While I realize we are well on our way through 2010, I'm still thinking about the year that passed. 2009 was a year of great gifts and great loss. That’s where I have been. Living opposite ends of the spectrum of life.

The gift was, quite literally, the gift of life. Stella has brought us joy when we needed it most and soothed our souls with humor and love when we least expected it. Nothing compares to sweet baby love bundled up with tiny fingers and tiny toes.

The loss was the death of my father, something I didn’t think would happen for many more years. I now understand the weight of grief, something that never goes entirely away. People tell me that it lessons with time.

But life, is funny like that.

You never know how precious it is until you see it grow and also watch someone drift away. I never thought I would do both at the same time.

What have I learned from all this? (In no particular order because how I look at it changes each day)

Life is short. Sink into it. LIVE it, feel it from the tips of your toes to the top of your head.

Love is unconditional.

Support is the greatest gift of all.



What I do, each and every day, having learned these lessons?

Love fiercely like each day my last.

Tell my people I love them, a lot. Kiss them, hug them as much as I can. Thank them for being “them” with a smile.

Tell people I appreciate them. And mean it.

Never, ever take things for granted. Small things like “Thanks for taking out the garbage Honey. I’m so glad you do this.” means everyone in my family knows the small things they do are important, and mean big things to others.

Enjoy the sunrise, even if I’m tired.

Reflect on each day.

Take the time to ask my girls what they liked best that day. Give them my undivided attention, individually for a few minutes(and sometimes it literally is only a few minutes!). I hope they will remember this.

So now what?

I don’t know.

I think we’ll jump around a bit. We may have to go back before we can go forward.

Stella did it!

Mission accomplished. Toes have been found!


And she is very pleased.


Now, if she'll just let go long enough to change her diaper, we'll all be happy:)!

My favorite part

Stella is entering what is my favorite parts of babyhood. She is about to find her toes. Ohhhhh, those lovely sweet little baby toes are just about in her reach and when she finds them.......hours of entertainment for the active player and the audience! She's currently grabbing her ankle, and she seems to thinks that's pretty fun. Just wait!!
I imagine she'll look something like this when she makes the connection.


She is also wiggling around and rolling right up to her side and tettering and tottering. Not quite rolling over but I imagine she will in the next week or two. Then I'm sure she'll look pretty pleased with herself, something like this...


We were also seen taking some photos in the park by a friend driving by. Busted. But Stella was in yellow and the dandylions looked to inviting....

Time keeps on slipping.

With the arrival of nice weather, we have been spending as much time outside as possible. We went to visit my parents at the farm. As you can see, Lola had LOTS of fun with Grandmaman.

Not to be outdone by Poppas truck of course.

The weather was nice, although we didn't get to enjoy our picnic lunch at the beach due the the cloud of blackflies that descended. Poor Lola, she was pretty mad that we had to leave the playground ... especially as I had been going on about the picnic all morning. But we ate on the back patio at home and it was just as nice, minus the bugs.

Family day

Despite all the renovations, we did take some time to go to the Zoo. It turned out to be a hot day so we had to do some "wardrobe adjustments" for Stella as we went along.




Lola LOVES the elephants. Look at our big kid now!



Running (and running) through the hollow log is always a highlight.



No trip is complete without a seat on the lap of our favorite Orangutan



I can't wait for the water park to open !

Spring has sprung

And we are getting dress for it!

The past few weeks have been hectic as Wil has been renovating the bathroom. He has been working VERY hard to put in a new tile floor, a new vanity and a new toilet. This meant that he has been working evenings and weekends because we were down to one toilet and one sink on the mail floor, which was sometimes a little challenging. It's almost done and looks great. I'm eternally grateful to have such a handy guy in my life. We seem to have divided the tasks well, he does the dirty figuring and I make it look pretty by painting and hanging art. Seems like a great deal to me.

The girls and I are settling into a nice little grove, just in time for the weather to warm up. We try to spend out mornings out of the house doing something. We hit the park, the mall, the library or meet up with friends. I'm happy to have reconnected with alot of my mommy group friends so Lola has been able to have a few park play dates. She really looks foward to this. She is fearless in the park now and will climb anything. Even if she falls, she's right back up there to try it again "by MYself". Having the car a few days a week has blasted open our park options and we have found some great ones here that have climbing walls and curving bumpy slides. They have some along way from when I was a kid !

Stella seems to be hitting all her miles stones so much faster than I remember with Lola. I have already started packing away her newborn clothing and sleepers with a little sigh. I love this stage where she is so little and looks and us with such absolute trust and wonder. Her smiles are so genuine and sweet and each time she gets the giggles, she gets the hiccups. She is also started sleeping from 8:00 pm to 5:00 am which makes me a well rested Mom.



A few days ago I walked into the kitchen to this....



When I asked Lola what she was doing she said "Talkin' to Stella Suuusan" When I asked what Stella was saying she said "I don't know"

Stella-3 months

Yes, she is 3 months old already.

I took this yesterday morning as I was getting ready and she was sleeping. I just love her to bits.

The joys of language

Watching your child develop the ability to speak is an amazing thing. We watched Lola grunts develop into very serious conversations of non-sensical words and phrases. Then we got to the "Bulllllly" stage. We could have entire conversations with the word "bully". This was a favorite for everyone. It would go something like this

Me: Bully?
Lola: Buuulllly
Me: Bully Bully?
Lola: Bulllly bulllly!!
Me; Bully Bully Bulleeeeeee!
Lola: BuLLY.

Then came random words thrown at us in rapid fire and not the right order. Example Water, ME!

Now, we have the joy of full sentences, although not always in the right order. Her favorite is "no more _________ anymore me!"

Lately, we have been schooled by Lola into what some of OUR favorite phases and words are. For example, I apparently say "I don't know" at the beginning of my sentences. Any question you ask Lola such as "what colour is this?" She replies "I don't know-red". Wil asks Lola to do things "RIGHT now" and so anything Lola needs is " I want to go the the park RIGHT now".

Lastly, there is the danger of the swearing in front of you kids. Don't look at me like that, everyone has done it! I said the F word, WEEKS ago, I might add, when I realized I had burnt the potatoes for dinner. Last week, as we were driving back from Windsor, Lola excitedly yelled out "F*ck!" from the backseat. Followed by a string of "F*ck Daddy(for the record, I NEVER said that!) "F*ck the cars" "F*ck the trees" "F*ck the birds" and "F*ck the sidewalk" before Wil and I realized that were were, indeed, hearing the work "F*ck". I looked out the window trying not to burst into laughter while Wil seriously told Lola that was not a word we should use to describe things like Daddys, birds, cars and sidewalks.

The best part about all of this is that each day brings a whole lot of laughter. I'm talking, careless, deep belly laughs that could go on for long periods of time.



This is Lola reading US the story. "Panda bear, Panda bear what do you hear. Her take "Panda bear, Panda bear Whadda wadda hear? (insert laughter here:)

Easter Bunny

I've been prepping Lola about the Easter Bunnys' arrival for a few weeks. She was very excited about the prospect of having chocolate as Lola doesn't have it very often. I explained that the Easter Bunny would come to Windsor too so we wouldn't be forgotten just because we weren't at home. The chocolate was a hit with Lola and Elise, Stella just observed this year.




We also had a lovely hike with family Sarah, Seb and Elise and friends Dave, Heather and Tom and their kids at Ojibway park. Lola ran the whole way, stopping only to pick up sticks and look for turtles. We bought her new running shoes and they are really paying off. This was also Stella's first hike. She slept through pretty much the whole thing.






oh yes, and our Easter Dress. Unfortuantely, we didn't get a photo of Stella before we had a large wardrobe changing blow out, but here is Lola.

One of these things is not like the other...

Ok, So I know I'm not suppose to compare my kids but, I'm sure I'm not the first(nor the last) to do it.

I'm just so blown away that Lola and Stella could be soooo different. It will be very interesting to see how this goes as they progress in life. As you know from my various blog entries, Lola is a mover and a shaker. She always needed to be bounced and walked around(rocking was not something she enjoyed) and she constantly needed new places to be and things to see. Stella loves to just.... sit.... and watch. She sits in her chair and looks around for long periods of time. She studies my face and the faces of others very intently, like she has something to say. The other day as she was kicking it out on the livingroom floor, I went to get Lola from her nap. When I came back downstairs with my wide awake little whirlwind, Stella had fallen asleep, in the MIDDLE of the floor, by herself. I wasn't quite sure what to do.....this had NEVER happened before!! Lola and headed to the basement to play a little Dora on the computer until Wil got home. The regular dinner activity woke Stella up, refreshed and ready to go again. Amazing.